You Can Hear It In Syracuse

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By Robert Whelan

“Hey Ike! How’s Bertha getting on with the Melon-Collie Baby? “

“That’s all over now… It ripened rather quickly and ran off to join the circus. Bertha was heartbroken but fortunately she soon became engrossed in another problem.”

“So, what’s the problem?`”

Well, there’s more than one. It’s a combination deal. Her digestive system, her nervous system, and her hearing…”

“So, what’s she doing about it?”

“She got very nervous and upset. It happened, after she was given a surprise birthday party at her friend Sadie’s house. When she got there, Sadie led her into a private room and blindfolded her. Unfortunately, just before she got to Sadie’s Bertha had enjoyed a hot enchilada and egg salad sandwich for lunch. It had digested but was putting extreme gas pressure on her sphincter. Since she was alone when she went into the empty room, she thought she would quietly attend to its release before anyone got there. It was not a pretty release. Healthy, but not pretty. What made her upset was when they took off her blindfold, everyone was jumping out from behind chairs shouting surprise, and roaring with laughter at the same time. Because of her hearing problem, she immediately knew why they were laughing, but was upset because she could not hear the cause of the laughter. Everyone else in the room did, and it was soooo humiliating

First thing the next day, she set up an appointment with her Doctor friend Harry, and went right in to see him. She said; “Harry, I was so embarrassed the other day. I was in a room and was relieving some gas pressure in a way I thought couldn’t be heard, I couldn’t hear anything. To my surprise, I soon found that everyone else who happened to be in the room could. It was so embarrassing. What can you do about it? “

So, Harry thought for a while, finally took out his prescription pad and wrote her a prescription, and said : “There that should take care of the problem.””

“ So, did it???”

“Next time she experienced flatulence, you could hear it in Syracuse…”