Skibootch

You Can Dress ’em Up

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Once again after reflecting on Father O’Doul’s recommendation that he hurry home, Mick, in his usual dismissive manner,  just kept sitting at the bar. As he sat there a stranger walked in and sat down next to him. Mick’s involvement with the stranger then completely occupied his rather limited grasp of what might be taking place at home with Brigit and Skibootch.

To illuminate the situation with a proverbial phrase, Mick was involved with his usual case of: “Out of Sight out of Mind.”

“Slowly but surely” describes Mick’s next step in his to return to the world of reality. He finally “Comes To” and realizes why Father O’Doul had advised him to return home as soon as he could. He then began to think to himself that: “With Friends like that, who needs Enemies?” Soon his anxiety was “Approaching a Boiling Point.” The likelihood that Skibootch was taking advantage of his absence and replacing him as a bedroom partner with Brigit began to “Remove the Cobwebs” from his consciousness.

The more he thought about it the more angry he became. So angry that that it began to inspire him to finally think about getting his butt off the bar stool. But somehow, his addled mind kept saying: “Act in Haste and Repent in Leisure.” After all, Skibootch was an old friend, and “There are No Better Friends than Old Friends.”

Brigit, despite all her insults and disparaging remarks, is still the woman he chose: “To Have and To Hold, Till Death Do Us Part.” Such a dilemma. He realizes that this situation requires all the thought and finesse he can muster. The main thought that now ran through Mick’s somewhat foggy brain: “What To Do?”

As these somewhat restored thoughts were passing through his mind, much like: “Ships That Pass in the Night.” One that struck Mick was concerned with improving his appearance. Brigit always thought the very least of him and his ways. She regarded him as somewhat as an unkempt clown. He just couldn’t get out of his mind all her irritating and salty opinions of him.

“I got show her that I got class” Mick thought. “And, another thing: ‘What’s Hers is Mine and What’s Mine is My Own, I’ll go next door to the Men’s shop and get a shirt and tie. I’ll give meself a “New Look” and I’ll let A Smile Be My Umbrella” as I deck meself out “Right and proper.”

With that Mick joyfully hops off the barstool, and sachets confidently to the haberdashery next door. He quickly selects a new white shirt and a snappy, but colorful “clip on” bow tie. He slips into the changing room, takes off his grubby NY Yankees T shirt, throws it into the waste basket, and replaces it with his new classy ensemble. All the while contemplating his newly perceived change in attitude as a thought raced through his sobering brain: “It’s always so true that: “A New Broom Sweeps Clean.”

His thoughts were becoming so positive and happy that he even begins to believe that he indeed has become a ‘New Man.’ “I can just hear her saying: ‘Handsome Is as Handsome Does,’ I can hardly wait to get home.”

Shortly afterward Mick arrives home, He encounters Brigit as she is emerging from their neatly appointed and impeccable bedroom, with no sign of any unwelcome intrusions from Skibootch. With a relieved and expectant voice he says to Brigit: “Whaddya think?”

Brigit calmly replies: “You look great Mick. Now all you have to do is paint your cheeks white and your nose red.”