The Shaggy Dog Saloon

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“Hey Mollie. Another letter from Skibootch just went up by the dartboard. Hold on for a minute while I scratch a little itch, then let’s check it out.”

“Funny, Shaggy, he keeps sending them faster and faster. It figures, he always talked a lot when he was here too. I miss him and all his talk. I liked him a lot, too, cause he always gave me doggie treats.”

“Yeah, I miss him too, Mollie, but let me go over and read what he has to say:

Dear McGuinty,
You’ll never believe what I’m going to tell you. I could hardly believe it meself. I landed in Cork and was wandering around downtown when lo and behold, I spots a saloon called the Shaggy Dog. It reminded me of the black dog who hangs around your place, so I walks in, and what do I see?

I see the same looking bunch of roustabouts at the bar that hang out at your place. They looked exactly like all of us. Come to find out, one guy is named Murphy, just like our Mick. And you know what else I found out. He comes from a long line of Murphy’s that own saloons in Ireland.

But you know what really struck me? The joint had mirrors all over the place. There was a huge one right behind the bar. As I looked into it I could see meself. But in that mirror I was wearin a brown suit. Just like the one in me closet at home. And, get this, I was wearin the same Guinness cap like I always wore at home.

So, as I’m getting accustomed to the place, I looks around and sees more mirrors. When you look in them you see even more views; front; back; side by side; all over. I was lookin at things I never could see before, like the big bald spot on the back of me head, and the worn spot under me wallet pocket. I began to understand there was more to me than I ever knew. On and on, so many views. I began to wonder what were all these views about?

As I’m lookin around I start to see things I missed before. I see people sitting around tables; I see singing and dancing; I see smiles and good food being served. Stuff I never thought much about before. I begin thinkin all these things are things I missed before. Maybe I should think about havin some meself. Why did I not see it all in the first place? Maybe I should look into more of those mirrors. Maybe I can figure out how I can join all those happy people, be happy like them. So I starts lookin more carefully, and what do I see?

You ain’t goin to believe this McGuinty, but I see a guy in the big mirror, the spittin image of me father. He’s wearin a brown suit. A brown suit just like me father’s and me brothers. It then occurred to me that there must be a family connection between me and them. Furthermore, some of those other guys who look like me brothers, look like me, too. I was even beginning to see who I really am.

I’m a guy in a brown suit who can do all those things his father and brothers do if I stop runnin from my creditors and do what they do. Get a table, put a family around it, and then all pull together as one. Limit the use of the Guinness cap, and put on other caps. Caps that go where all that happiness is of those families in the mirrors. School caps, work caps, farm caps, overseas caps, caps of worthwhile enterprise. Change them around as they are needed.

So, get this McGuinty, I’m seein things I never thought much about before. I’m going to stick around Ireland until I get my ducks lined up, my debts paid, and me habits transformed. Transformed into those which change waste into power. From now on Skibootch will really, really be involved with turning bullshit into electricity. In fact, I’m startin this very day to find meself a productive farm.

I’ll be keepin you posted on me progress, as I am leaving Cork and headin north to do all of that. More later.

“Geez Mollie, it sure looks like Skibootch has more to say than just talk. I can’t wait to hear how he’s going about this transformation.”

“Yeah Shaggy, but you know Skibootch. He talks a good game. We’ll have to see how he delivers.”

“Yeah, let’s stay close…”