Six Months Vacation

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“Hey Mollie, you always have all the fun, especially when you go out with Bertha. That was some shopping trip, especially running into Skibootch at Macy’s. But, you know what? That story was a whopper all right, but, I got one even better. This one is hard to beat. It highlights the goofy similarities, between that clown Skibootch and Bertha’s husband, Ike.

Well I guess goofy similarities and differences, happen all at the same time. Just like you and I are different looking, but still dogs. And I dare say loved by our owners, as we overlook their goofiness. Ike and Skibootch are so much like us, in likes, dislikes, and oddities.

Remember how hot it was last Saturday? It was so hot Father O’Doul left the church door open. I’m just moseying down the street in search of a cool place to stretch out, I spotted the open door. I needed the usual quiet nap and I knew it was a lot cooler inside there. I snuck in and found a nice cool spot. It was right behind the confessional, so I settled in for a little snooze.

Just as I’m getting comfortable, lo and behold, who comes in but Skibootch. He heads right into the confessional. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but Skibootch has such a fog horn voice, a person could hear him in Syracuse. I had no problem.”

“Here’s how it went:

‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.’

Father O’Doul says, ‘Is that you, Skibootch?’

‘Yes, Father, it is.’

‘And who was it you were with?’

‘I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.’

“Well, Skibootch, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so
you may as well tell me now.

Was it Rosie O’Grady?’

‘I cannot say.’

‘Was it Little Annie Rooney?’

‘I’ll never tell. ‘

‘Was it Pretty Kitty Kelly?’

‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’

‘Was it Bonnie Brae?’

‘Me lips are sealed.’

‘Was it Rose of Tralee, then?’

‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’

Father O’Doul sighs: ‘Skibootch you’re very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you’ve sinned and for that, you have to atone. For your penance I’m taking you off the parish usher job. You’ll not be a big shot usher for a whole 6 months. Now go and sin no more.

So, any way Mollie, later that afternoon, I happened to wander into McGuinty’s saloon. As I am lying down at the end of the bar, I overhear Skibootch talking to Mick Murphy. They were sitting just a few stools over.

Mick says to him, ‘I hear you went to confession this afternoon. – What’d you get?’

‘Six months vacation, and five good leads.’