Come to Me

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By Robert Whelan

“So Ike! Now that you `re out of the hospital how’s it going with Bertha?”

“Well lately I’ve been having second thoughts”,

“How’s that?”

“The other night I came home. I go in the kitchen, and I see her talking to a cantaloupe. So, I ask her what was she doing.”

She says: “Whaddya mean what am I doing? I`m having a conversation!”

“Ever since the birthday present disaster, its been a touch and go relationship with us. So, I don’t ask her any more questions and just let it go by.

It’s not only that she talks to a cantaloupe but she’s getting weirder and weirder. So now that my head doesn’t hurt so much, the pain has shifted to a new location. I’m having questions about her sanity!!!

I got her a nice Collie to make up for the scale gaffe. That seemed to please her and everything seemed to be getting better. She was pleased with the Collie. He is a pretty dog, and has a very gentle disposition. But there is something very strange about his preferences. He’s been keeping company with the same cantaloupe that Bertha has been talking to. Now, my head is really getting worse.,

He seems to be shacking up with it all the time in his kennel. Doesn’t come out for days at a time. When he does, he seems exhausted.

So, I don’t pay a lot of attention, because he seems to be a nice well behaved dog, and Berths is happy. So leave well enough alone, right???

Well OK, but the other night as I was reading the evening paper I heard Bertha tiptoe over to the back door to go out to the kennel. So I get curious as to why all the secrecy and hush hush.

I quietly slip outside and hide behind a big bush to see what’s going on. All of a sudden I hear Bertha singing softly…”

“So what’s she singing???”

“Come to Me My Melon-Collie Baby!!!”