Bring on the Clowns

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“Hey Mollie, let’s go over to our favorite place at the end of the bar. You know where old McGuinty can’t see us. I want to get us up to date on all our storytelling. You know we get so involved in the everyday doings of all those characters that I worry that we are not keeping track of what we’re supposed to be doing here. It is kind of fun to get our chuckles out of what we see going on, but we need to go over our assignments, and do a little scorekeeping on ourselves, as well.

So I was just thinking about how we came back here in the first place. You know, when we came back from the Circus. You remember how we met. You had just run away from Ike and Becky. Remember, when they found you in the kennel after your mom had that big affair with a cantaloupe. Remember Becky singing something about you being her Melon-Collie baby. Like those people were from Whacko Texas, and you couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

You actually went from bad to worse, as the Circus was no place for either of us. There were even more clowns in that goofy place than back home with Ike, Becky, and all the local varieties. Basically, I had the same adventure when I left the Murphy’s. Those crazy Micks were all over me for putting the overalls in Mrs. Murphy’s chowder.

Remember how the circus clowns offered to let us go if we would promise to find more clowns for their acts. Don’t we have enough on the loose already? These guys even want more. Just what we need, more clowns to screw things up.

So they knew we were anxious for a change of scenery, and us going back to Snowsville wasn’t so bad after all. And besides, we can have a much more restful time in this backwater town. Beats being constantly on the move, like in the circus.

So, the clowns let us go back home, on condition that we send them these reports on these locals. They want to be sure they are going to get some real crazy clowns to spice up their shows. So let’s stretch out this fun assignment as long as we can.

Well, they sent us to the right place here. Nobody is funnier than the Irish and the Jews. They have a corner on the market, and frankly, Mollie, I really enjoy my job reporting on all the unbelievable idiocy here. Every day more unbelievable than the last.. It’s kind of like distributing rubber crutches in an old folks home. A disaster every minute.

I think our stories may be getting at, in an oddball way, where true life is happening, and we can get some positive laughs from all these clowns that we tell about.

Like. I got to admit, crazy Skibootch is onto something. If he can actually turn bullshit into electricity, he may actually be saving us all. Maybe he can power enough lights to see clear to Washington.

At least, we can begin to find where all the smell is coming from.